Monday, July 31, 2006

The one where Fritzi ranted about sitcoms.

So ja, I've noticed something. In all sitcoms that are 30 minutes long and have a mainly white cast, there is at least one black man in it, and said black man is always the person that jumps forward to give advice to the person that's troubled. It's true! Just turn on channel 65! Or 63! Or 2! Or anything! Lol, but ja, just watch some early morning sitcoms or mid-day ones and see the truth before your eyes! Lol, but ja....I'm a geek so ja......

On another note, I think that I've figured out that the perfect male for me would be a computer geek that can prefereably party, but it's okay if he cannot. I told my friend this and she said that I needed a boyfriend. Right after she says this my friend Valerie instant messages me on AIM, here is the convo:

FRIEND! (8:38:55 PM): hey.
kitycatkitkat (8:39:03 PM)
: are you a boyfriend for me?
FRIEND! (8:39:08 PM): uhm...
FRIEND! (8:39:22 PM): That was completely incoherent.
kitycatkitkat (8:39:32 PM)
: lol
FRIEND! (8:40:00 PM): hey, can we try the conversation over again?
FRIEND! (8:40:04 PM): Starting from the top.
kitycatkitkat (8:40:06 PM)
: ha
kitycatkitkat (8:40:07 PM): hi
FRIEND! (8:40:07 PM): Hey, what's up?
kitycatkitkat (8:41:33 PM)
: lol

Ha ha, gotta' love those crazy AIM convos eh?


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Sunday, July 16, 2006

I Dream of Pity


Why do all my dreams always come true? Almost everything I dream comes back to me either in full or partially true. It sucks becausae the parts that come true are almost never good. It sucks. I thought that it had stopped, but just recently one that I had back in December came true....last night actually. It really has me worried too, (the content of what came true).

Oh well. Maybe I'll just go jump off a 3ft bridge whist trying to commet suicide because I'm sick of my little emo life and am just gonna give up on everything. Or maybe not.

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Sunday, July 09, 2006

So I Lied

So ja, heh, ironic title, but ja, I lied, this emo-poem is my next post, not what I've been up to.

She will die alone,
Cold in the bed of a truck.
She cut herself because of all the lies,
But not just the ones he said to her.
She lied to everyone she met.
She lied to him and her and even them.
She lied to to even her friends.
She convinced herself of those lies,
And because of that,
Just look,
She slowly dies.
Sick of lieing, to all she knew,
She tries to stop,
Reborn anew.
She ties up her tounge and gags herself,
To no avail, she lies again.
She disapears, for who-knows-how long,
She slept all day,
But still told wrong.
Finally she held her breath,
Turning blue, she didnt speak,
Not a word,
Not a breath.
She took a knife, and plunged it in.
She pulled it down,
"Please repeat action again."
Slowly now, she starts to disapear.
Out of breath she starts to fall,
Away from pain,
Away from life,
Away from her fishing-net of lies.
Now comforted, she fails to notice,
That one truth swam through, her tangled net.
And as she died,
It swam away,
She mouthed the words,
"I still love you."

Needed Rant of an Insane Youth

So ja, I'll post what I've been up to later, but now, I need to rant, with terrible grammar too.

why can't i be happy with my life for more than a small period of time? i have a decent life. i have friends, my family dosnt have money problems, im overall healty, i get good grades, i have a job, but i still cant stay happy for long. i envy others, whether they have it better, worse or the same as me, and i cant figure out why. i can see things a lot more clearly than the average person, at least from what ive seen of the average person, and i can comprehend things better as well. i've had a lot of shit thrown at me, but it would never get to me for long. i adapt to things very quickly, but still fear change. ive overcome a lot about myself that most people didnt/dont know about too. i should be happy that ive done all this stuff, but i'm not. idk, maybe i feel like i shouldnt have done anything, and let it all overcome me, had a breakdown, gone crying to my mum and had her send me back to a shrink, and actually talk to the person instead of diliberatly doing things to confuse/not help him/her, or get into arguments about items in the office. idk. i know that the number of people that have done things better than i have, or are better than me, or have better things than me, or have it better than me, or are even worse off than me but still handle it all have already prooven they deserve life more than i do. and right there, i'm saying i dont deserve life as much as someone else, it's a stupid thing to say. but then, does one deserve life? sure, life is a gift. but is it? and to agrue the 'deserving life' people who 'deserve' live, are usually happy or succesful. why is this? because they do things to get them that! they dont sit around on their ass all day, watching tv, going on the computer, being 'emo', cutting little lines in their skin with knifes, and talking on the phone with people about how miserable they are. they get out and find something to do! uhg. sometimes i wonder how much of the bad things in my life ive just played up in my mind to make them seem worse? it seems like i want to be helped, but wont accept it, that i want to be forced to get help. i know that if i talked to someone, actually talked to them, not just the 'wats up, lol, i miss ___, brb, wanna get drunk?' kind of stuff, but like, talking i would tell them things, if they got me talking enough, id tell them whatever they wanted to know really. but it feels like i cant talk about that kind of stuff w/friends, bc theyd probably get freaked out, and run away from me, and i cant talk to a shrink, bc im too proud to admit to my mum that i need one(another reason i cant, actually involves needing one) and if i did talk to one, id be afraid of what would happen. would they get freaked out and try to drug me up? would they send me off to some crazy ward? would they say i was normal like everyone else? i dont know. uhg, it angers me that i'm like this. yarr. i dont even know where this is going anymore, i started off typing with a completly different subject in mind, and it's turned to this. ranting can be wonderful, can't it?

Sunday, July 02, 2006

Love Bugs Itch Like Hell, I've Got Some Repelent If You're Interested.

So ja, I'm sick of societies loosness with words. I can let shit like 'ghetto' slip past usually, because it's actually evolved to mean other things. But do you want to know what it really means? I'll tell you, ghetto:

Inflected forms: pl.ghet·tos or ghet·toes 1. A section of a city occupied by a minority group who live there especially because of social, economic, or legal pressure. 2. An often walled quarter in a European city to which Jews were restricted beginning in the Middle Ages. 3. Something that resembles the restriction or isolation of a city ghetto: "trapped in ethnic or pink-collar managerial job ghettoes" (Diane Weathers).
Italian, afterGhetto, island near Venice where Jews were made to live in the 16th century.

Not so cool to live there anymore, is it? Not exactly 'hip' and 'gangsta' if you were jewish 70ish years ago.(Think I did my math right) But what am I doing? I said that I could let stuff like that one slip. The word I'm here to rant about, is 'love'. I can't f-ing stand what stupid little chicken shits have turned it into. Going around saying, "Oh, I love John," when they infact, do not love John, they just have a crush on him. Or saying, "I love you," just to get laid, or make someone happy. I mean, the gits are asking each other out, and confessing their 'love' after a day and break up by the end of a week or two. Take one hundred high school aged people who have been in their current relationship for a week, and probably about 75% of them will be telling the other they love them, at least the females will. That's another thing, females are surpose to crave love, but look what the average female has butched it to mean!? Uhg! Most of them don't even know what love really is. And I'm sorry, but a dictionary deffinition won't help too much here. Love is when you know that you would do anything for a person. You would die for a person, you would give up everything for a person, you would gain anything for a person. Hell, the person could go off to Florida, mention that you should go with them, and you start making plans to make it happen, long term. When you're in love with someone, you don't fall out of love with them, it's impossible. You can stop liking them, but the love is always there and can always be rekindled, god I hate bloody cliches. If the person you love got mad at you, hurt you, and didn't talk to you for 10 years, then one day, 10 years later, shows up at your doorstep, no matter what you're going through or feeling, you'll still love them, you might feel hate for the person, momentarilly, but you'll still love them, you'll still do anything for them, maybe not imediatly, but once you get over your anger for them you will. No one realises just how powerful love actually is, sure, that gets said all the time but no one actually beleives it or pays any bloody attention. Love can actually do anything, though so can many other emotions, don't get me wrong, I'm not saying, "Zomg eveyone hug right now! It'll stop alll the shit with the middle east!" I'm not an idiot, I know that the presedent going over there and saying, "Aw, look, I'm real sorry 'bout everything that's happened between us, but it's because I love yah, can we just make up?" will do shit, besides freak a bunch of people out. o.O' But still, if you read this, please don't miss use words like 'ghetto', 'pimp', 'whore', 'love', 'hate', and all that jazz, it's bloody annoying and makes me want to smash your face in, and fill your body with water beetles, and toss you out of an airplane over the artic ocean, with a note attacked in a bottle that's tied to you that warns people not to miss use words.

Oh yes, this also goes for other laungages too. Like with japenese, people often use the word 'baka' and stick it around everywhere in their little sentences, sprinkling it over their freshly roasted speech like it's Mrs. Dash. Yarr, silly peasents.

Ha! Another thing! People are totally unoriginal with insults! All you hear is 'whore', 'slut' and other affiliates of the word. You see, I at least mix it up a bit, I call people soiled harlots (c). You'd be surprised, well, if you're reading my blog you might not be, at the number of people that don't know what the word soiled or harlot means. And for anyone that dosn't that happens to skim through this,

Inflected forms: soiled, soil·ing, soils
tr. 1. To make dirty, particularly on the surface. 2. To disgrace; tarnish: a reputation soiled by scandal. 3. To corrupt; defile. 4. To dirty with excrement.


A woman prostitute.

So ja, I'm done ranting for now, I fell better.

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Saturday, July 01, 2006

Do you wanna buy my titties for the night?

So ja, about the title, tonight I was haning out with Courtney and Jenny at Chilis(and other places, but whatever). Coutney turns to me at one point and says, "Do do you wanna borrow my CDs tonight?" to me, and Jenny kinda sputters and asks her what she said. Apperently Jenny thought she had asked "Do you wanna buy my titties?" Damn, it was really funny because a lot of people sitting around us thought we were all doped up, heh.

So later we went and met up with Doug, Taylor, Robbie and Curtis and played with fireworks. Then I came home....and here I am.....ja....

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